It has been a quiet few days so I decided it was time for a little reflection as so much has been happening all around me and I don't seem to have found the time to record how things are affecting me. I have, over the past few weeks, been much more open with my friends about the situation we are in and I have found that it is such a lift to be able to talk freely (when the right time, situation and circumstances arise).
I am still waiting for my councelling appointment to come through but the longer I wait the nearer it is plus I have the added hope that the medication I have been prescribed will do some good. It is hard trying not to get your hopes up know that there is a chance that the doctor is wrong and that it will not work because the crash of failure gets harder and harder and it seems, for me, that the more hopeful I am, the harder I crash and the harder it is to put myself back together.
The more I think about things, the more I decide that I am done crying - I really have run out of tears: doesn't matter what sort of tears they are - saddness, anger, frustration, they are all the same at the end of the day. I keep telling myself that the time has come to turn my life around, to live it my way and to accept what is, is and what will be, will be. It is not easy and will take timea nd effort but one day I hope to suceed.
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