It is strange to look at a future that has so many 'what ifs' in it, when we first decided we wanted to start a family I did look at future events and make provision for the 'if we are lucky' senario - would I be ok to travel, would I be ok to drink etc etc the list was endless. After time passed I made the choice not to plan for the best but that stopped me from planning altogether. I still have things there but no longer did I plan for them, they just sort of snuck up on me. it did make life a bit more exciting for a time although slightly less organised but it has meant that the last year has flown past me and looking back I have nothing to show for it.
But, with the change that has occured in my outlook with the confirmaiton of what the problem is and a potential fix being prescribed my outlook has changed back to the 'what if we are lucky' with a eye half open to the fact that there is a future which, one way or another I will have to deal with.
I do have, at the back of my mind, the question - what happens if this medication doesn't work? What would be the next step? There are so many possible variations that I will not have these answers until it actually happens and the more I think about it to more I panic that the medication will not work when I know (sensible head on) that there is a good possbility if the diagnosis is correct it should work in the next 6 months.
I would dearly love to call the fertility clinic and cancel the appointment they have already sent to me for 6 months time . . . . .
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