Milestones

I know that practically I had put in my mind a lot of milestones that will no longer happen: a 12 week scan, telling people our good news, a 20 week scan, shopping trips, decorating the spare room and, eventually, a due date. This week would have been the first of these milestones and it reminds me of where I am and where I been to get here.

I know that reaching these milestones will be emotional times I am just not sure what emotions to expect. At the moment I am still feeling a profound loose and the sadness that goes with it, I am also very angry that after everything we have had to suffer we have to go through this as well.

The other emotion I have is one of hope. We managed the first hurdle, fell at the second fine but we cleared the first (even with a leg up of medication) which has be a positive thing and something that we can cling to when the sadness and the anger gets to be too much.

I really want to be more positive, I feel that I owe it to the people who have been there for me, listened to me and supported me and hopefully in time I will get there for me as well as for them. I am starting to believe it when they say that time is the greatest healer so my next request is: can time move more quickly please?