After Sunday's mammoth over reaction I have spent some time thinking about when a reaction is to much and why I sometimes over react to the situations I am confronted with. As with Sunday it was the littlest of things - a mucky kitchen floor which was a base on which to build full bins, DVDs left out, crumbs on the coffee table, nothing out for tea and so on until all these little things took on a life of their very own and my brain could not deal with any of them.
Talking over what happened I have seen that I used the situation to vent anger that I have been sat on that had absolutely nothing to do with the actual situation I was in. It does throw into perspective just how angry I am and that I need to find a less harmful way of expressing that anger so it doesn't turn into something destructive. I read back my last post and I can read the anger in it. I can also read how stubborn I can be. And this makes me very sad.
So the question is - will I ever over react again? Almost definitely but I hope that I can manage not to blow things as far out of proportion to that level of anger as I did last weekend. I am going away again this weekend, the people around me think the break will do me good however they said that about last weekend and that didn't end well at all. I guess only time will tell . . .
Oh bless you, you sound so much like me! I am such an easygoing person, but once the button has been pushed, that's it, past the point of no return. When Joseph was in hospital I really really lost it a number of times, and not just with hubby. I was incredibly angry and annoyed all the time, I couldn't understand why, after my miscarriages, I did not deserve a healthy happy full term baby.
ReplyDeleteAnd the person I was angriest with, was me. I had let my baby down, my husband down, I was useless and pathetic.
Of course now I think how I felt and acted was completely ridiculous, and I am ashamed.
But it was outside my control.
I hope things get better for you soon, but please try not to beat yourself up too much, none of this is your fault, and whilst not justified to want to bury your husband under the patio for leaving the house in a state, we've all be there....with the shovel ready!!!