On the Road Again

I have counselling again last night and after a good session which ended with me feeling uplifted and proud of my ability to finally manage my emotions I was told that I could be discharged. Wow, that was a shock and it felt like a rug had been pulled out from under me but then I realised - the rug can't stay there forever, I have to get on with my life, I have turn the pages to a fresh one and get on with my life. Have I finished grieving? I am not sure but I am sure that I have accepted what has happened and that it was not my fault and that it doesn't mean that there is no future, it just means that the road has taken an unexpected and difficult route.

There are still some things that I am not sure I am ready for but I finally want to be out in the world, spending time with more people and not hiding at home and only seeing those whom I feel the most comfortable with. I can finally see that the future is out there and that good things can happen.

Yesterday I did have a 'light bulb switches on' moment when I took time to think about and talk about the support network I have. Not only am I lucky enough to have a family (mine and in laws) that care deeply but I have friends. These friends have spent their precious time supporting me and for that I am grateful. Some of my friends have drifted away for whatever reason, I am hoping time will bring most of them back, some of my friends have become much closer and I realised yesterday that does bring me a great deal of happiness.

So, today I feel like I am back on the road again, where that roads goes I don't know and what it will bring might be postive or not but I know that I have support and I have learnt that it is ok to ask for help.