Diagnosis

Recalling the week that I first confessed to my GP that there was a problem is not an issue - i think the week will stay with me forever.



I had hosted a BBQ for my birthday weekend. Family and friends had come, it was informal and life was smiling at me. For one day I wanted to forget my troubles and just be me. But, and a big but, my brother in law and his wife annouced the pregnancy - I was deverstated and my day ruined. All I heard was have wonderful it was, they were open about how easy it has been for them and, as soon as was polite, I retreated to my bedroom and sobbed my heart out, this was the second couple we knew who has started trying for a baby and suceeded whereas we were bound for the doctors. Spending the following week with them and a lot more family on a foreign holiday turned what should have been a relaxingbreak to an ongoing nightmare from which there was no escape and brought me home even more stressed that I have started; so much for holidays being good for the process as they allow time for relaxation.



Sitting in the doctors surgery was weird, like all time had stopped and people were just floating past us but we did what we need to and the tests began, first with her, then gynae and then, after over 18 months the fertility clinic. Over the past year and a half I have been poked, prodded, stabbed, x-rayed and examined and all to no avail. No answers.



The frustration is imense and patience is required but I am trying to keep some faith that one day our dreams will come true.