A letter to Mum

Dear Mum,

I guess being a mum can be a thankless task, I was a snotty child, an angry teen and when I moved away I was terrible at contacting home. But know I realise how much I really do need you. It seems that only as an adult have I realised the lengths you went to in order to make my childhood a good one and it occurs to me that I have never really said thank you. I should have been the happiest child in the world - I was always clean, fed and well dressed and, more importantly, I was loved and I knew it.

In the past I would never have described us as close, I was a Daddy's girl. It was with him I shared my hobbies and friends and interests and it was you that was often let out and for that I do feel some guilt. I wish we had spent more time enjoying each others company and less time butting heads over things that I now realise were trivial. I remember the last time we had a proper falling out - I was rude and you caught me! I had run because I wasn't daft but stopped because I was and I deserved the slap I got. I remember hoping that we would never come to that point ever again.

I also remember when you sat on my sofa and told me you had breast cancer, it was a moment of clarity - I realised that one day I would loose you. I have no doubt that the breast cancer would beat you but realised that one day, many moons from today I would have no choice but to manage without you and that didn't hit home until the day I rang you, sobbing my heart out, from the car because the doctor had told me I was depressed. You got straight in the car and came to me, one of the numerous times you have done this, always when I was most in need. Again, I don't think I have said thank you enough for these actions and I should.

We went shopping before Christmas and it was a great day - very relaxed and something I can't wait to do again. It brings to my attention that, because I do live a way away from you, that we can't do this all the time and so the time that we have we need to treasure: something I plan to do from now onwards.

I think my one wish for the future is that I can be half as good a mum as you are. I think that if I can manage that they you have taught me well and I will have done you proud.

All my love and my thanks
Victoria